So here’s the question of the day: You’ve always wanted to be a lycanthrope of some sort. Admit it. Just as all of us have at some point or other in our deeply-repressed pasts (or not so deeply, depending) wanted desperately to be a ninja, you’ve yearned to have fur, extraordinary strength and agility and the ability to see in the dark. Let’s leave aside the ravening beast tendencies for a moment, although they can be fun too. See An American Werewolf in London for details.
But which type would you pick?
There are a number of different were-critters from which to choose. While I have a number of books on this subject (big surprise there, hey?), my preferred reference is the AD&D Second Edition Monstrous Manual, which lists nine of the more widespread varieties:
Werebat – Pros: nocturnal, very sociable, can fly, echolocation. Cons: bad reputation, explosive poop.
Werebear – Pros: strong, big teeth, sit anywhere you want, lives in pastoral forest-type places, can catch salmon without a licence. Cons: high cholesterol, eats grubs, gets real sleepy in winter.
Wereboar – Pros: big teeth, sit anywhere the werebear’s not sitting and you get to have a lot of personal space. Cons: smelly, short temper and you eat like a pig.
Werefox – Pros: cunning, quick, tricky, nice coat, big furry tail, get to either be, or hang out with, vixens. Cons: you have to eat mice, live in a hole in the ground, and deal with beagles.
Wererat – Pros: sociable, disease-resistant, always employable in the sciences sector. Cons: LARGE “eeww” factor, hard to get a date and terriers hate you.
Wereraven – Pros: can fly, great sense of humour and you get a large collection of bright shiny objects. Cons: tendency to talk too much, kleptomania.
Wereseal – you get to swim, hang out on ice floes and be in the media once a year. Cons: you gotta like sushi.
Weretiger – big teeth, pretty coat, can jump and climb. Cons: picky eaters, lots of people are allergic to you and you might have to live in Siberia.
Werewolf – you’ve seen the movies.
So, which one would you pick?
Uh, okay, you’re sleeping ALONE tonight. And that nice thing I had planned for tonight? Yeah, well, not so much any more. Fur between the teeth doesn’t appeal. Blech.
With my last name, I think my choice is obvious.
I am fondly reminded of the time a certain party was lost in some underground caverns and quite seriously petered by a largish were-rat. Never mind a certain chaotic neutral thief who was tossing out raisins as bait, “just to see what would happen.” It was that or sell the cleric… again.
Wearbat would be cool because of the flying but wearbear fits me better.
When I was a DM I hated having lycanthropes as PCs or under the PC’s controll the abuses were just too complicated.
Of course, for some, the inner and outer furries are the same.
What would a lawyer be, anyway? A were-rat or a were-snake?
You have too much time on your hands!
If only…